Chapter 8 HENRY

 When Kirk was about to give his first weekly speech to DADANTI’s employees, Paula was waiting before Claudia’s office. She was to be given a company trip around departments. After talking briefly about everybody from sales, logistics, human resources, IT, client team, commercial team, quality team, and operations, Claudia invited Paula back to her room and offered a cup of coffee.

‘You’re young, aren’t you?’, she looked at Paula from top to bottom and returned to her face, ‘Guess how old I am!’

Paula shrugged.

‘Fifty-something?’

‘I’m seventy-two. But I’d rather die than retire. I love it here. I love it when things are looking up. But, honestly, I don’t give a shit about this place. I just want to do something with my time. Plus I’m formally retired, so I’m a bargain for this company. No additional expenses, just the salary. Now, Kirk and Beata wanted me to tell you more or less what we expect you to do. He’s at home with his leg broken, but otherwise, he’s quite unscrupulous here, and really doesn’t like when there are issues. He’s a bit of a control freak, but that’s between you and me. Beata rarely comes to the office. She works from home as well or occasionally attends meetings. So when they’re here in person, the stress levels go up two hundred percent. When they’re away, we just work as usual. I’m not sure if they,’ she looked at the door, implying everyone behind it, ‘are afraid of you yet, but try to build respect for yourself if you’d like to stick around. 

Now, three main issues this year. First one, we are overstaffed. We need to get rid of less crucial employees, make some cuts here and there. Nothing personal. Just do assess what can be eliminated, what can be pushed to India, what duties could we give to other employees, what vacancies are unnecessary. A routine work, no emotions. Secondly, you don’t have to participate in these team calls, this doesn’t concern you, I tend to ignore them myself. However, you will have a few calls a week with Kirk, that’s for sure. So report to him on any major issues, any problems, also employee-oriented, however, briefly. You’re his second hand, while he’s away and you’re here. You know, the boring stuff, you’re his eyes and ears, and no one likes you here. You’re like a parasite, an inevitable spy, although everybody would rather gas you. Thirdly…’

Claudia started coughing and she did this for a while, making Paula realize that she was indeed seventy-two. 

‘Water?’ Paula offered, glimpsing at the water bottle.

‘Sure.’ Claudia coughed some more, calmed down a bit, and drank from the glass, ‘What was I talking about?’

‘Thirdly.’

‘Oh yes. Thirdly…’ she put a hand in her pocket and took out a bunch of keys. Next, she stood up, approached a wooden chest of drawers, and opened it. In one of the drawers, there was a stash of purple boxes. She took one and placed it in front of Paula. 

‘HENRY,’ she announced.

‘HENRY?’, Paula didn’t know what to expect.

‘Open it.’

Paula opened the box. Inside, on a velvet cushion, lied a penis. It looked realistically, with a size slightly above average, with skin, and veins. It also felt very real. Paula smiled lightly, holding it in her hand. Claudia laughed a bit too.

‘Not my cup of tea, I’m afraid. I had everything cut years ago, I had womb cancer, which spread a bit, so almost everything went out. It was over twenty years ago. I mostly enjoy oral sex, if anything. Or if the guy I’m seeing is not dead yet. (You know, men my age die pretty often, I know something about it).’

‘It’s a dildo?’ Paula was examining it and weighing HENRY in her hand.

‘Not just any dildo. It is the newest technology. It has its own application, which you can download on your phone. It monitors your temperature, mood, time of day, menstrual cycle, moves, and pressure, even the texture of your vagina. It learns you so that it can give you the most personalized pleasure. It’s a mini-computer. It can heat up, cool down, thrust, vibrate, pulse, rub, rotate. It’s supposed to read you. Plus it looks like a real deal. I have to admit, design teams were divided on whether it should be innovative, you know, alien-like, or look like a modern gadget. But finally, we wanted to make it approachable. There’s something pristine in a real penis, and women just like real sex, however nasty a penis might seem for a little girl. And thus, HENRY. Your little best friend, who knows you best and can give you the strongest of orgasms. It's still in the developmental stage, but we want to launch it by the end of the year.’

‘How much will it cost?’

‘I assume around 500 - 700 Euro an item. Definitely not cheap, but still affordable. Like a home coffee machine. The app will be for free. Plus a year guarantee on the maintenance. We expect to sell millions.’

‘And me? What is my role here?’

Claudia laughed.

‘We expect you to make sure we do. You’re the one to take over PROJECT HENRY. Take one home with you for testing. You can play with it in your free time and come up with some great marketing ideas.’

‘Anything else?’

‘No, that’s it. Theoretically, if you have problems, you should turn to me. But I will be away for some time, another surgery, I’m afraid, and I won’t be here for a few months. So if anything bothers you, turn to Kirk. Beata is usually unavailable both via mail and telephone, so it would be easier to contact him. If you need more of those,’ Claudia looked at HENRY ‘I’ll leave you the key. Plus, of course, all contacts to the developmental team. You should manage.’

That was the last time Paula saw Claudia in the office. On the other hand, all DADANTI employees finally learned who Paula was, and no one was indifferent about her presence in the office anymore.